Of fornications and war declarations

She was pregnant.

But that did not stop the attacks. On the contrary in fact. It had taken all her strength to run and hide from the heartless monsters, but she realised that it was time to move on. With a tearful prayer, she climbed out of the window, and started a long and dangerous trek through uncharted terrains.

 

She walked through jungles, sewers and tunnels and finally reached a housing development. While most of them looked cheerful and festive, it was the dark unlighted one that she was instantly drawn to. She had gone through enough in one night to realise that darkness was her ally, her friend. She quickly slipped in, and found ample food to keep her happy.

 

Suddenly, she felt the pain.The capsule dropped, and in a few hours, her children were born - almost 30 of them. As they grew darker in color, she crooned:

"There is enough food for all of us. Do remember to fornicate frequently, for our strength is in numbers."

 

....which was when I switched on the light in the kitchen. The mother and her children roaches were surprised to see a screaming woman (that would be me) and her enchanted-and-eager-to-analyse son. They ran, while I decided to take  a crash course in armed combat. Now, equipped with a spray and boric acid, it is apparent that a brutal and bloody war is imminent - sans the screaming.

Phobo-Listo-Philia

Wikipedia defines phobia as:
an intense and persistent fear of certain situations, activities, things, animals, or people. The main symptom of this disorder is the excessive and unreasonable desire to avoid the feared stimulus.

The list of phobias is daunting, but for sure, incomplete. I mean, listing an obscure phobia of bathing and not listing some of the more common ones? Surprising. For example, where is:

starophobia,
of being stared at by all men within 500 metres of vicinity? 99.2% of the females suffer with this phobia making them believe that they are either very attractive or have something stuck in their teeth, resulting in their doing nervously foolish activities.

smilophobia,
A phobia of smiling or grinning? This typically results in a permanent bull-doggish appearance in the said person.

secretophobia,
A phobia of maintaining any secret? (more popularly known as otta-vaazhi in tamil, pet mein na pachna in hindi or tattle-tale in english)

naturalophobia,
A phobia of looking or acting natural? The phobic usually hides the natural color of his/her face, nails & lips, the shape of their eyes & cheeks, or use fake accents.

timeophobia,
A phobia or intense dislike of arriving on time?

driveroadophobia,
of driving on roads, a phobia more common in India?

Are there any more phobias that have been missed out?

PS: In case you are wondering, I suffer from driverophobia and secretophobia all the time, and the rest occassionally.