The Posing Lifecycle

There is something about a camera which brings out the extreme in us. For example, take my grandmother. Even at my unbiased best, she is the prettiest 80-year old I know. So, everyone likes taking photos of/with her. Except her that is.

At a recent wedding, when I asked her to pose for a group photo, she snapped:

Paati: Aama!! kovama varudhu. Elaarum velaya neeruthi “EEE” nu pose kudukara.
Me (ROFLing); Vera eppaddi Paati pose kudukardhu?
Paati: Yein Siriche aanuma? Pallu kaataadhe pose kudukka mudiyadha?!

Loosely translated, it means:

Paati Ya right! It makes me very angry – everyone going “EEE” while posing.
Me (ROFLing): How else can one pose?
Paati: Is it absolutely necessary to laugh? Can’t you give a pose without showing teeth?!

While we have the extremely camera-averse Paatis at one end, we have the photo obsessed ones on the other. You know who I am talking about. The 100-plus photos uploading, the self-shot taking, the photoshopping people. They can be broadly classified into:

- The Interesting-Wannabes/Jokers
Jokers are fascinating. They love to mime. Silent screams, pouts, frowns, anger – you name it, they have done it. They practise making faces in front of the mirror, making parents wonder where they went wrong.

- The scary-self-shots/Enhancers
Self-shots can be done in so many angles, and with such creativity. There are pouts, lazy eyes, different hairstyles, pets and quirky looks. In fact, at one time, one of Enhancer-girls started a poll. She would post a self-shot and ask “Which caption do you think suits the photo best? - Cute, Sexy, Naughty, sweet, beautiful”. And no, crazy and stupid were not listed. All my gag reflexes went on overdrive.

- The Wannabe Models/Stylistas
To give them some credit, these people don’t handle the camera much. They contend themselves by showing their chiselled profiles, ruffling their hair, jutting out their butt (or chest as the case may be), crossing their waxed legs and shopping with their designer sunglasses etc. Beautiful creatures that they are, they rarely photoshop, unless of course, its on instagram.

- The Memory-Keepers /Realists
Realists can be boring and easy to work with, depending on your perspective. They know precisely what they are doing – posing, and think they have too much dignity to make stupid faces. They practice one tilt and one grin (or the at-ease or ATTENTION pose with a severe face), and methodically go about distributing it to all the camera owners.

- The one-track-mind/Naturalists
You can go “Meh” looking at their photo-klutziness. They don’t care about the aesthetics, lighting, camera quality or the way the face is looking. Make no mistake, they do like taking photos. They take out their camera and start clicking, without breaking a stride or stopping to pose. The result is a set of blurred images, girls with cakey make-ups, pimple prominence, and usually, part of some one’s back. Somehow, it becomes a part of their charm and endears them further.

I have been through all these phases, but am glad that the enhancer and the joker phase were very short-lived (four years, to be precise). It makes me wonder, if everyone goes through a posing lifecycle:

I think the forces above and beyond us created these jokers, Enhancers and Stylistas just to provide a few much-needed laughs in the midst of scams, leaks, rapes and bribes. So, this post is a tribute to these people – who selflessly look ridiculous just to add some humor into our worlds. Thank you.


PS: Archana has tagged me, for the Versatile blogger award. Before you shout - WTHeyy, Arch, I will do kickass justice to that tag soon.

PPS: Unexpectedly, this post is one of the spicy saturday picks!