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Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Small packages can bring big changes

Innumerable things change after having a baby - big and small. It is so gradual that we notice them only after it has become a routine. I started noticing 11 months after having mine, and the consultant-devil woke up inside me to make a list of them*:

  • No amount of wanna-be-cool mother resolutions work, and falling into obsessive-compulsive pattern seems inevitable.

  • The disaster-intuitive radars start developing.

  • The timid voice gives way to an assertive one.

  • The catching reflex becomes stronger with each passing day.

  • Organizational and multi-tasking skills sky-rocket.

  • Judging and advicing married couples becomes difficult to control.

  • Keeping a clean house while the baby is awake is an abandoned dream.

  • Bath is a luxury, and even at its slowest, does not last longer than 10 minutes.

  • The head is perpetually inclined at a 45 degree angle with ears pointing to the room where the baby is sleeping.

  • the neighbourhood teenage boy playing loud music, the uncle meticulously reversing his car and the auto honking its horn are all equally and creatively bad-mouthed.

  • Peeing and pooping are replaced by pee-pee and poo-poo, and their smells fail to stimulate or repulse us.

  • Hosting a simple dinner takes a full day, if not more, taking the baby-delays into account.

  • All the purchases are based on their being unbreakable and child-proof.

  • A walk down the block, a trip to the garden or mall are all equally barfed at.

  • Planning a trip back home becomes more nerve-racking than exciting.

  • The mall shopping gets over in a haze - organized and rushed with a shopping list clutched in the hand like a lifesaver.
  • Chunky jewellery and heels are discarded for an all-bare and flat look.

  • No shopping trip is complete without checking out the baby store.

  • There is always a shortage of cloth nappies.

  • The shop-keepers and market owners suddenly become friendlier and more understanding.

  • Steamed vegetables, runny dal rice and mashed apples start tasting delicious.

  • Phone and spectacle replacement ideas are abandoned seeing the conditions of the current ones in the tiny hands.

  • The days and weeks are passed by mentally noting all the relevant growth milestones.

  • The mobile-using, hippie-clothed school children wandering hand-in-hand with the opposite sex are looked at with absolute terror, and worried looks are exhanged with the partner.

  • All ways of raising the child, other than your own, seem faulty.

  • Despite expecting it, the first 'amma' or 'appa' can send your heart plummeting.

  • Watching a sleeping child suddenly becomes the new stress-buster, replacing book-reading and movie-watching.

  • Unknowingly, the second childhood begins, where rhymes are sung and dances are danced entertaining self more than the child.

  • You start respecting your parents more.

  • With the added responsibilities, the bond with the partner becomes stronger and more dependable.
* I read a similar post-baby changes list by another blogger, but I hope against hope that this doesn't look like a rip-off!


antbrain said...

Wow! This is an exhaustive list! Well done!Trying to recall the past 11 months now. Hmmmmm.....1) waking up to a pleasant dream is replaced by little grunts in the beginning and loud wails later2) an empathising smile to a parent with an infant in hand becomes a social norm3) new respect for parents with twin boys

Archana said...

How could I forget those three... especially the first one!!! hahaha!........... and the twins!

Anupama said...

Second childhood indeed! I am more amused with the singing/dancing parent than the child. I like the person I become when I am with kids!

Kunal Chandra said...

Archana - Ashwin got the best one though - New respect for parents with Twin Boys.... ha ha ha

waltzin.the.rain said...

Oh God....I am new to blogging. Couldnt help commenting. You have jotted down the stark reality.Hats off to you!Rolling with laughter....lovely writing

Archana Chari said...

This post is so much fun to read. I am sorry, but I can imagine you happily dancing and singing before Ahaan!

Archana said...

:D I seem to be doing it all the time now. He got his head shaved yesterday, and I am happy to say he didnt shed any tears, not with his mom, and his Athai doing mini-skits and jigs in front of him!

Archana said...

Waltzin in the rain: I am sorry for responding late - seem to have missed your comment! Thanks a lot - the story of every mother isn't it?! There should be more that I missed!

Archana said...

Kunal: We have a twin-boys family here in our apartment - I cannot begin to tell you how naughty the kids are, and how patient their parents are - they are like little spiders scurrying around everywhere (mainly trying to get outof the main gate), with the parents pursuing them at break-neck speed.