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| The WTF quote of the day which prompted this post |
A “selfless parent” is a myth. They exist only in public –
where there is sweet talking, blogging and overt praising. See them in action
24X7, you’ll be surprised. There may be a lot more fighting, strong words,
whining, crying, breakdowns and/or hitting than you would have imagined.
This does not mean that they are hypocritical. A parent
faces too much pressure – from the society which is judging their every single
move (you lose your cool once in public and you get the tag), from the spouse
who takes minimal, equal or greater load than you do, the internet with its gyan on what is
right and what is not, and more importantly, from the child, who keeps looking
at him/her with adoring and trusting eyes (and pulls all your heart strings in the process). Add the professional and/or house work-load
into the equation and it’s a brimming pot full of emotions. Parents have
their own way of dealing with it – they either become mule-headed in their
beliefs or putty to other people’s opinions. Whichever path they take and
however much they try, they also end up being judgemental and hypocritical.
Unfortunately, they forget to be selfish (Yes, I think it is a good trait, and a difficult one to master).
It is easy to forget everything and make your world revolve around one tiny
tot. It is easy to forget one’s hobbies, health and friends to do so. But
slowly and steadily, these things are missed. Tempers run short and self-pity attacks
in full force. Emotional blackmails are uttered inadvertently (“I sacrificed
EVERYTHING” for you). From being the source of dependency for the child, one
becomes dependent on them.
Since being a mother brings out all the advise-giving
hormones to forefront, let me add my bit here – if you are a parent, make an effort and be
selfish. Selfish makes you happy, and that’s what makes a real parent. A child
wants a content parent, not a selfless one.
